Control Freak

It may come as a surprise to you kids, but I have a control issue!  I can hear daddy say now, "this is no surprise"!  Ethan, you had your first, and I hope only surgery yesterday.  The ENT doctor put tubes in your ears and took our your adenoids. I had told you that the doctor was getting the puppies out of your ears and a horse out of your throat. Not sure why I chose that explanation, but you seemed to accept it.  I blame it on the fact my brain is like a pin ball machine, it goes all over the place.  I couldn't get any sleep the night prior.  I thought of every bad thing that could of happen (picu nurse in me).  I hoped they would intubate you and not use a LMA.  I had your intubation drugs set up in my mind. When we got to the hospital I made sure you had working suction in your room, that the code cart was near by and I knew where the vent boxes where.  I know nothing would go wrong but I felt useless and not in control.  Dude, we were talking tubes in your ears, nothing major and this is how I react.  I had my game face on but still always a little fearful. I got to go back with you when they made you sleepy.  I was reminded of all my wonderful families that trust me to care for their precious babies, and how I take that so seriously.  How they feel like they have no control and all they want is to fix it. 
When you woke up you put stickers all over daddy's face as Nurse Abby took out your IV!  You are a rock star!  I love you so much.  You look so cute ASLEEP!